


I'll Make This Feel Like Home

by vlvtfireside



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Euphoria (TV 2019), M/M, Making Out, Minor Violence, Rejection, Self-Discovery, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Threesome - M/M/M, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vlvtfireside/pseuds/vlvtfireside
Summary: "I won't let you go back to him after everything he told you and did to you. You deserve better than him. I love you, Tooru. And not only as a friend, I love you as a person you truly are."
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Semi Eita, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Kudos: 13





	I'll Make This Feel Like Home

-Hey, Iwa-chan?

-Hm?

-You should really get a girlfriend. Or boyfriend.

-Die.

-No, he's right Iwaizumi. How long do you plan on staying single?-Sugawara said and threw his arm around Oikawa, whose cheeks flushed because of the action and snuggled closer to his boyfriend. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and looked over at couple after closing the book.

-Why are you two bothered? Am I annoying third wheel?-He said and shot them a smirk. Suga got more comfortable on couch and shook his head while smiling. 

-No, sometimes I think dating you would be better than dating Oikawa, he's annoying.

-Hey!-Oikawa gasped with offended voice and looked up at his boyfriend.

-Calm down, babe I'm just kidding. But you, on the other hand better get yourself someone though, all you do is homework, the whole day. You're not even trying to meet someone new; do you even leave this apartment to go somewhere that isn't university, Hajime?-Suga said, getting another eye roll from Iwaizumi. Of course, he left his apartment sometimes, whenever he couldn't realize what he was studying anymore, he'd take long walks, he'd also stop at university library sometimes and try to collect his thought there. He was getting really tired of Suga and Oikawa acting like if he wanted to get girlfriend, he wouldn't be able to get one. As for boyfriend, he told pair too many times that he was only attracted to girls, but he wasn't sure himself if that was true anymore. He did have few girlfriends back in high school, he had strong feelings for some of them, for some – they weren't that strong, he was sure he was attracted to girls, but sometimes he thought he was attracted to boys as well. Truth be told, he was scared to find out the answer at some point, so he just tried to ignore those thoughts and feelings and spend his whole time on his university work. 

He didn't even tell Oikawa about it. Even though he knew his best friend would be supportive and help him figure things out, he was still scared to tell him. He was also nervous about Suga's reaction, despite the fact that Iwaizumi knew him well, he was still scared that Suga would think that Iwaizumi would catch feelings for Oikawa because they lived together and spend the whole time together. Iwaizumi didn't want to be the reason if Oikawa and Suga ever broke up. But Iwaizumi and Oikawa did spend every day together, despite the fact that Suga and Oikawa were in the relationship together, Oikawa decided it would be too early for them to move in together because they got together in the end of third year in high school, and he wasn't ready for it yet. So, Iwaizumi and Oikawa got apartment together and Suga moved in with Daichi – their apartment wasn't very far from Oikawa's and Iwaizumi's and Oikawa went there anytime he wanted or could. 

-I don't have time or nerves for relationship, so you lovebirds can stop worrying about my love life.-Iwaizumi said and looked at time. Then he sighed and got up, getting confused look from Oikawa.-I have to meet up with my friend. I'll be home... probably late.

-Wait, wait, wait, woah, you're finally going out? At Friday night? Instead of drowning yourself in work? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?-Oikawa said with sparkles in his eyes and big grin on his face. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and threw one of the couch cushions in his face.-Ow! You're so mean.

-And you're pain in the ass. Are you two going to go somewhere? Should I take my keys with me or?-Iwaizumi asked and walked to his room. Oikawa shrugged his shoulders and looked up at Suga. Iwaizumi could hear little whispers from living room while he was getting dressed. He heard Oikawa complaining about something like always.-So?

-You should probably take your keys. Suga has to go somewhere and I'll probably go to library or something, I always get bored when I'm alone.-Oikawa clearly seemed upset and Suga seemed angry, but Iwaizumi thought it would be best if he stayed out from their business. He nodded and left house, walking towards to Semi's apartment. 

*** 

-But I thought we could hang out together today. Just us. Alone.-Oikawa said with hint of pain in his voice after Iwaizumi walked out from the house. Suga rolled his eyes and got out from the couch. He got closer to the balcony door that was in front of Oikawa, he was avoiding making eye contact with him. Suga opened the balcony door, pulled out pack of cigarettes from his pocket and started smoking.-I just want to...

-Look, Tooru, I know but I already told you, this is important. I'm not telling you we can't hang out, I'm just telling you I also have something to do with Daichi.

-Come on, Suga! You can't tell me this is about university or homework, it's fucking Friday afternoon. You always do this these days! You're always with Daichi, sometimes I think you're in relationship with him instead of me! Don't I deserve to be alone with my own boyfriend without my or your best friend third wheeling us?-Oikawa raised his voice and got out from couch, walking closer to gray haired boy. 

-Stop acting like a fucking child, Oikawa! It's annoying! God, you're annoying!-Being called annoying wasn't anything new to Oikawa, everyone called him that – Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, Hanamaki and others as well, but he always knew they were joking, he could see in their eyes that that they were joking, but when Suga said it and Oikawa looked in his eyes, he saw how serious Suga was being. He actually meant what he said. And Oikawa felt like someone punched him in the stomach with whole force. The vision started to get blurry.

-I... I'm sorry...-Oikawa whispered with tiny voice. He slowly walked back to the couch, not wanting to annoy Suga even more than he apparently already did, and felt how tear made its way down on his cheeks while he was looking down to the floor.

-Damn it, are you seriously going to cry right now?! What are you, fucking crybaby?!-Suga said, he rolled his eyes and chuckled a little bit. He finished smoking and threw small part that was left of cigarette outside. He slowly walked towards to Oikawa and kneeled in front of him. Suga placed his hand on Oikawa's cheek and made him look in his eyes.-Babe...

-Don't call me that unless you mean it, asshole.-Oikawa said harshly and slapped Suga's hand away before looking away from him, which was clearly a wrong and bad move. Suga let out angry and annoyed voice and grabbed Oikawa's jaw, hard. Oikawa let out small yell and new tears started to form in his eyes. Suga has never, ever, been this cold to him. Ever. 

-Oikawa, you're getting on my fucking nerves. You're making me angry, and trust me, you don't want to see me angry.-Suga brought his face closer to Oikawa's and let the words out between his teeth. Oikawa felt like someone was squishing his heart with full force.

-Okay... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just please don't leave. Please stay here.-Oikawa almost sobbed out the words and looked at Suga with sad expression. Suga let out a long sigh, he let go of boy in front of him and turned around after getting up. He ran his fingers in his hair and then took out his phone, texting someone something.

-Fine, I'll stay with you today.-Suga said and turned around again, seeing how Oikawa's eyes lighted up. Still, he didn't feel anything else than annoyance.-But you'll do something for me

-What is it?-Oikawa said with big smile on his face and Suga couldn't help but smirk.

-Take off your clothes.-Suga said and walked towards the couch, pushing Oikawa to lay down on it and he hovered over taller boy's body, running his thumb over his lower lip.

*** 

-The question is why are you telling us all of this and not your childhood best friend.-Semi said and put the cup down. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, only if he knew.

-I don't know, I just thought it would be easier to tell the guy I've only known for four month than guy I've known for nineteen years.-Iwaizumi shrugged and got more comfortable on couch. He looked over at apartment, did Semi ever clean the house? It was complete mess but somehow the instruments he played on were placed by the wall and they were clean more than anything in the whole apartment. Iwaizumi looked back at the couple in front of him. Shirabu was sitting behind Semi and gray-haired boy had his back against his boyfriend's chest. Why was Iwaizumi always the third wheel?

-Well, I don't know if I should be honored or not, but thank you, Haji.-Semi said with big grin on his face. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

-Get fucked, Eita. Stop calling me that and clean your apartment, it smells like someone died in here.-Iwaizumi said with sassy smile and Semi made offended expression.

-Jokes on you, Iwaizumi, my apartment is as clean as my soul and mind.

-So, babe you just said it's not clean.-Shirabu said and rested his neck on his boyfriend's shoulder. Semi rolled his eyes and pouted at his boyfriend.-Okay, I'm sorry I love you.

-Ugh, I hate you guys.-Iwaizumi said and took his glass from the table.

-Okay, I have an idea. Because you're so confused and you have no one, other than us, to help you figure out if you get turned on by guys as well, I know way to help you.-Semi said with big grin and looked up at Shirabu, who nodded in agreement. Next sentence made Iwaizumi spit out his drink and almost choke on it.-Make out with me. 

-Huh?! Eita, are you crazy?!-Iwaizumi finally managed to catch his breath after few seconds and looked at Semi with shocked face.-Shirabu, are you okay with what he's saying?

-I mean, yeah. This isn't first time if I watch him make out with someone and I know he loves me, and I know he won't go around making out and sleeping with random dudes behind my back, I trust him more than you can imagine, so I'm okay with it as long as it happens like this.-Shirabu said and started leaving small kissing on his boyfriend's neck.

-This is insane.-Iwaizumi said and felt how his heart started beating faster.

-So, is that an yes or a no?-Semi asked and blinked innocently. It wouldn't hurt anyone, would it? Plus, it wouldn't affect Semi's and Shirabu's relationship. 

-Are you sure you're okay with this?-Iwaizumi asked. Copper-haired boy rolled his eyes at Iwaizumi while smiling and nodded again without saying anything else. Iwaizumi took deep breath and shifted on couch, getting closer to gray-haired boy who seemed very excited about what was going to happen. 

Semi slightly pushed himself off Shirabu's chest and pulled Iwaizumi closer with his bicep. He placed his forehead on Iwaizumi's and smirked at shorter boy, then he moved his hand, slowly, painfully slowly, from Iwaizumi's bicep to his shoulder and then placed it where his neck and shoulder met. 

-Relax.-Semi whispered in Iwaizumi's ear and Iwaizumi felt how goosebumps rose on his skin because of his hot breath. Iwaizumi could swear he heard how Shirabu chuckled and before he could look at him over Semi's shoulder, Semi removed his face from Iwaizumi's ear and pressed his lips against Iwaizumi's. Hard.

Shorter boy let out a surprised gasp and placed his hands that were in his lap, on Semi's hips – pulling him closer. He felt Semi smirk against his lips and he ran his tongue over Iwaizumi's lips, hinting him to part his lips. The second Iwaizumi felt Semi's tongue and cold metal – his tongue piercing – in his mouth, he couldn't help himself but to groan and close his eyes slowly with satisfaction. He could still feel Semi smiling against his lips.

Gray-haired boy changed the position without breaking the kiss and slowly slide down on the couch, pulling Iwaizumi down with him. Now, he was lying on the couch, his waist was between Shirabu's legs and his back - pressed against his chest again, Iwaizumi between his legs - his whole body pressing against Semi's. Iwaizumi felt shivers go down on his spine when Semi lifted up his shirt slightly and slid his fingers in, Iwaizumi feeling the cold metals – Semi's rings – on his back. Iwaizumi broke the kiss and let out a loud groan when he felt how Semi scratched down his back. He leaned down and he moved to gray-haired boy's neck and removed his hands from his hips – using them to open the first two buttons of Semi's shirt. Iwaizumi looked up at Shirabu who was not breaking the eye contact with Iwaizumi's any move and there was only one thing Iwaizumi could see in his eyes – lust. Shirabu slid his left hand in his boyfriend's hair and made him move his head a little bit so he could see what Iwaizumi was doing little better. Iwaizumi smiled against Semi's skin and pressed his lower half on Semi's who let out a loud, loud groan. Iwaizumi looked up at Shirabu again, waiting, wanting him to say something – anything – to Iwaizumi. Copper-haired boy smirked, knowing what Iwaizumi wanted. He slid his right hand now in Iwaizumi's hair and almost harshly – making Iwaizumi moan – made him remove his mouth from his boyfriend's neck and making him look Shirabu in eyes. 

-Good boy.-Shirabu smirked at Iwaizumi's reaction when those words left his mouth. Short, but loud moan left Iwaizumi's mouth and he grinded his lower half against Semi's. He got lost in pleasure too long ago to stop now. Fuck, someone praising Iwaizumi like that drove him insane. He wanted to hear it again and Shirabu knew it. He smirked.-You want to hear it again, don't you? You want me to praise you for leaving marks on my boyfriend's neck?

-Please...-Semi let out a whisper, none of them knowing who he said it to. Probably to Iwaizumi, because he was still slowly moving his body against Semi's and was leaving marks on his neck again. Shirabu was enjoying all of this more than he thought he would.

Shirabu moved his hand from Semi's messy hair and slowly slide it down to his cheek, after a few seconds he wrapped his hand around Semi's throat and tightened his grip slightly, making Semi moan and arch his back against Shirabu's chest.

-Like that, babe?-Shirabu whispered in Semi's ear and tightened his grip even more, but not too much that would hurt Semi. Semi nodded against his chest and closed his eyes with smile on his face. Iwaizumi slid his hand and rested it on Semi's thigh.-Sit up.

-What?-Semi asked with low, weak voice and opened his eyes when Shirabu let go of his throat. Copper-haired boy shifted on the couch and sat up more comfortably, making Semi to sit up – causing him to press his chest against Iwaizumi's – and look at him confused.

-Babe, come here.-He told Semi and pointed at his lap. Semi blinked at him innocently and removed himself from Iwaizumi's chest, getting comfortable in his boyfriend's lap, his back against Shirabu's chest like few minutes ago but this time he wasn't lying down. Shirabu took few seconds to unbutton other buttons of Semi's shirt and he threw it on the armchair next to them, then sliding his hand down slowly on Semi's chest. Iwaizumi was sitting in front of them, looking at them, not being able to break eye contact with Shirabu while he was sliding his hand up and down on his boyfriend's body. He smirked and his hand left Semi's chest, holding it out to Iwaizumi. Shorter boy took hold of his hand and Shirabu pulled him closer to the couple. Iwaizumi's chest was close to Semi's face and Iwaizumi's and Shirabu's faces were almost touching. He looked down at Semi when he felt his hands holding the hem of his shirt, Semi was asking him with his eyes if it was okay if he took of the shirt. Iwaizumi nodded and helped Semi to take off his shirt. Shirabu broke eye contact to look Iwaizumi's chest up and down and smirked. He leaned down and whispered.

-Mark him, babe. Everywhere.-Semi nodded and pulled Iwaizumi closer as possible till his lips were pressed against Iwaizumi's collarbones. Iwaizumi let out a soft moan while he lidded his eyes and threw his head back slightly. Shirabu smirked when he looked down at Semi, seeing him doing what he told him perfectly. He slid his hand down on his back and leaned in, whispering in his ear.-Good boy, always doing what I'm telling him to.

-Ahh.-Iwaizumi let out a shameless moan when Semi harshly bite his neck. Iwaizumi slid his hand in Semi's hair and opened his eyes to look at Shirabu. Copper-haired boy smiled at him and placed his hand on Iwaizumi's neck, pulling him closer to his face and pressing their lips together while he did what he did minutes ago – wrapped his hand around Semi's throat to make him moan again. Iwaizumi felt how Semi scratched his back and he let out a moan.

-And you still think you're straight?-Semi asked with smirk when they were finished. Nothing more than making out happened, but it made everything clear for Iwaizumi. He was attracted to boys just as much as he was attracted to girls.

*** 

-Tooru? Are you home?-Iwaizumi said when he walked in the house. It was around eleven pm when he left Semi's and Shirabu's place and took him about fifteen minutes to get to his and Tooru's apartment. He took off his shoes and started looking for his best friend. The TV was still on in living room – some weird alien movie on the screen – but the sound was off so there was silence in whole apartment. Iwaizumi didn't have good feeling about this, Friday was always Oikawa's favorite day of the week and him not doing or watching anything stupid and being this quiet was weird. He looked in the kitchen but he wasn't there either. Iwaizumi was about to call Oikawa when he heard little sniffle coming from Tooru's room. Iwaizumi quietly walked towards his friend's room and looked inside his room. Tooru's room was dark, really dark, curtains were over the windows and lights were off. Iwaizumi still managed to see someone wrapped in a blanket lying on the bed. 

"What the hell happened to him?"-Yes, Oikawa randomly getting sad wasn't anything new but if something happened, he always called Iwaizumi and told him everything instead of doing, this. And Iwaizumi was actually very nervous because this was something, he had no idea how to deal with. He always managed to cheer Oikawa up but in reality, he was actually very bad at comforting people. He took deep breath and stepped quietly in room. 

Tooru didn't even notice him, he had his earphones on and was staring at the wall while tears continued to stream down on his face. Iwaizumi walked closer to his bed and sat down; Oikawa was facing him with his back. Iwaizumi softly called his name and placed his hand on Oikawa's shoulder to make him realize he was there. Oikawa jumped out, not expecting Iwaizumi to be there and turned around to look at him after taking out the earphones. Iwaizumi felt how his breath got stuck in his throat when he saw Oikawa's teary eyes. Without saying anything else, he opened his arms and Oikawa hid his face in Iwaizumi's neck, his hands wrapping around his waist. 

-Tooru... What happened?-Iwaizumi asked when he pulled away from hug to look at Oikawa's face. Oikawa shook his head and looked down to his hands in his lap. Iwaizumi sighed sadly – knowing that when something very serious was bothering Oikawa – it took Iwaizumi a while to finally make him tell him what was happening. Apparently, this was one of those times as well. Iwaizumi put his finger under Oikawa's chin and made him look up.

-I'm fine... I'm sorry it's nothing.-Oikawa said and pushed himself back, he was now leaning against the headboard, blanket up to his chest. 

-Tooru, you know I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, or make you tell me something you don't want to tell me, but I'm your friend, and I care about you. If, and something clearly is bothering you, I want to help you. Hiding it from me and crying in your room is not going to help, it's going to make you feel even worse. Remember what doing this did to you in middle school?-Oikawa didn't say anything, he wasn't even looking at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi let out a sigh and got more comfortable on bed, knowing it'd take Oikawa a while to finally tell him everything.

-Today, when you asked if me and Suga were going somewhere, we actually did have plans, but Suga changed them in last minute, saying he had to do something with Daichi. It didn't mean we couldn't have been together but Daichi would come over as well... I love Daichi, I really do, I see he is to Suga what you are to me, but this has been happening for a while now. Every time I tell Suga I want to hang out with him, alone, he always says he has something to do. And when I tell him I'm going to hang out with you or Matsukawa and Hanamaki, he gets all weirdly jealous and tells me I'm not going to go out without him. I don't mind him being with me while we hang out, but sometimes I want to be alone with him, you get what I mean? I want to spend my time with my boyfriend, alone, all on our own, but sometimes I think Suga is the one who doesn't want it. I feel like I'm the only one who actually cares about this relationship and his feelings...

-What do you mean "his feelings"? Did he say something to you?-Iwaizumi said and put his hand over Oikawa's. Brown haired boy looked down again and didn't say anything for a while.-Oikawa, what did he do? Tooru!

-I... he told me I'm annoying, and that I'm a crybaby... I know you guys usually call me annoying and I don't really care about it, because I know you're joking, but this time, I could see in his eyes that he actually meant what he said... and I felt very bad for annoying him...

-Stop it!-Iwaizumi said loudly, making Oikawa flinch and look up at him with shocked face but Iwaizumi didn't care. He felt angry, he wouldn't let anyone talk to his friend like that, even if it was Oikawa's boyfriend himself.-Why the hell did you feel bad, Oikawa?! Sugawara is the one who was rude to you, despite the fact that he knows how much you care about those things! You don't want to admit it, but you care a lot of what others think of you! And he hurt your feelings, it's not nothing Tooru... You're not annoying, and you're not a crybaby, you just got hurt by his words.

-I... I love him, so much, Iwaizumi. And I don't want to lose him... I'm scared he's losing his feelings for me, maybe he already lost them, and it's dumping me because he feels sorry for me.-Oikawa buried his face in his hands and that was when Iwaizumi noticed something strange about his neck. Despite the darkness, he still saw it.

-Oikawa... what is that?-Iwaizumi asked with low voice and moved closer to Oikawa. Brown haired boy looked at him with confused face and realized few seconds later that Iwaizumi was pointing at his neck. He suddenly panicked and covered his neck and collarbones with his hands, which concerned Iwaizumi even more. He reached out at desk lamp that was next to Oikawa in the nightstand and turned it on so he could see Oikawa's face and neck little better.-Tooru, remove your hands...

-Iwa, it's nothing. You're overreacting...

-Remove your hands dumbass or I'll tackle you on the bed and I'll still see it!-Iwaizumi threatened and Oikawa had no other option than to remove his hands. Iwaizumi brought his face little closer to Oikawa's body to see it clearly. There were finger prints all over his neck, but not normal ones, it was like someone was choking him.-Take off your shirt!

-No, now this is getting to far! I'm not getting naked in front of you!-Oikawa protested.

-We've bathed together till we were eight, you dumbass, now take off your shirt till I take off your head!-Iwaizumi said angrily and Oikawa pouted, yet still slowly taking off his stupid alien pajama shirt. Iwaizumi lifted his hand up and ran his fingers over Oikawa's bruises, this wasn't just when sex got too rough, but pleasantly rough, it was when someone was angry and wanted another one to feel pain. Iwaizumi felt how Oikawa shivered under his touch and when he brushed his finger over one of Oikawa's darkest bruise, he heard how Oikawa hissed in pain.-What the hell happened while I was gone?!

-Nothing! I swear! He didn't force me to do anything, I allowed him! I gave him the consent and I meant it! It doesn't even hur... ow!-Oikawa said quickly but his sentence got cut off when Iwaizumi's fingertip now brushed over small, but dark, bruise on his hipbone. 

-It doesn't hurt, huh?!-Iwaizumi said with angry voice and Oikawa looked down to bed again, avoiding Iwaizumi's eyes.-How rough was he? 

-I... more than he usually is... when I told him to slow down, he didn't. I usually enjoy rough sex but today...-Oikawa said with tiny voice and he started playing with his fingers.

-Fuck... where is he now?!-Iwaizumi has never been angrier in his entire life, he wanted nothing more than to find Sugawara and punch him in the face for hurting Oikawa, both physically and emotionally. 

-I don't know... after he cleaned both of us, we started watching movie but I was too exhausted and fell asleep on couch. When I woke up, he was already gone.

-Oikawa... I'm not telling you what to do but if he continues to act like this, break up with him. I get you love him but if he causes you pain, you have to get out from relationship...

-Iwa, I know you say that because you care about me but really, I'm fine. Plus, I overreacted a little bit, Suga loves me and I love him. This happened once and bruises will fade away, it's okay. Come on, it's Suga we're talking about, we've known him since high school.-Oikawa said with smile on his face but Iwaizumi could only nod. He didn't have good feeling about this, about Oikawa staying with Suga. he couldn't explain why though. So, he only nodded. They sat in comfortable silence for few minutes till Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi and his eyes widened.-What is that?!

-What is that?-Iwaizumi asked and looked behind him.

-That! All of that! On your neck!

Oh...

OH!

-Oh... This... This is nothing? Are you hungry? I can make something!-Iwaizumi said and got up from bed quickly but Oikawa was faster, he wrapped his hand around his wrist and threw him, literally, on the bed. As soon as Iwaizumi's back was against the mattress, Oikawa got up and threw his leg on the other side of Iwaizumi's body, literally sitting on him. Iwaizumi tried to get him off but Oikawa wrapped his left hand around both of his wrists and pinned them above Iwaizumi's head on the bed.

-It's not nothing, show me!-Oikawa giggled, suddenly being the Oikawa he is and moved collar of Iwaizumi's shirt a little bit so he could see his collarbones better. His jaw dropped when he saw dark marks covering Iwaizumi's neck and shoulders and collarbones. Iwaizumi wanted Oikawa to get off him as soon as possible because him sitting on his lower half was already unbearable. Iwaizumi didn't know who he was going to kill first – Semi for leaving so many hickeys on him or Oikawa for not leaving him alone and sitting on him.-Damn, Iwa-chan, I didn't know you were this wild... I'm proud.

-Get off me, you asshole.-Iwaizumi let out and shifted beside him so make Oikawa move, but it didn't work. Oikawa was smirking down at him.

-Tell me, who is she?-Oikawa said and Iwaizumi's heart stopped beating. Should he lie? Should he tell him he figured out he likes boy by making out with not only one, but two of his friends? Would that be too weird? Would Oikawa get uncomfortable? Would he thi...

-I... Um... It's...-Iwaizumi gulped and broke eye contact with Oikawa.-It was he...

-Wait, what?-Oikawa's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.-But I thought you were only...

-Well, I thought that too. But I started to have those doubts a while ago, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't know how. And today when I went to Semi's place, I told him and his boyfriend... and he kind of suggested me to make out with him to see how it would feel... so I did... and it felt good, very good. Then stuff kind of got heated and this happened on my neck, I'm going to kill him.-Iwaizumi explained quickly and felt how his cheeks heated up. Oikawa was looking down on him with shocked face and couldn't realize what his friend just said.-Stop looking at me like I just said donkeys can fly, dumbass.

-You made out with Semi Eita?! What did his boyfriend say?! Isn't that cheating?!

-Well... you see, you can say he joined too? Kind of?-Iwaizumi's answer sounded more like a question and Oikawa gasped loudly, slapping his mouth with his hand.

-You had threesome with them?!-He yelled.

-No, you fucking moron, of course I didn't! We just made out!-Iwaizumi yelled back and tried to get Oikawa off him.-Move, I can't fucking brea-

-What the actual fuck is going on here?!-Iwaizumi's sentence got cut off my someone's yell. Oikawa froze on place when he realized that voice belonged to his boyfriend. When he looked down, he realized why Suga sounded so angry and confused – he was sitting on his best friend, literally, with his hands pinned above his head and he was wearing only boxers. And Iwaizumi's neck was covered in hickeys, it looked like Oikawa was the one who left them there. Of course, Suga would get shocked. Oikawa quickly snapped out from his thoughts and jumped off from Iwaizumi, then from bed – almost twisting his ankle. He took his shirt from his bed and quickly threw it on, same with his pants and looked at Suga with red cheeks and apologetic look in his eyes. Suga looked angrier than he was early today.

-Suga, please don't get angry or don't think anything else, it's not what it looks like!-Oikawa said and walked closer to his boyfriend. Suga broke eye contact with Iwaizumi who has just gotten up from bed ad turned around to face Oikawa. 

-So, now you're fucking your best friend, huh?-He said with bitter voice and Oikawa felt like someone punched him in the stomach, again. Oikawa shook his head and tried to grab Suga's hand but he slapped it away, looking straight into his eyes. Oikawa noticed how red his eyes were and he realized he was high. Yet, he still asked, hoping for another answer.

-Are you high again?-Oikawa asked and all he got from Suga was chuckle.

-Put on your shoes. We're leaving.-He said and shot short glare at Iwaizumi.

-What? Why? Where?

-Just listen to your fucking boyfriend for once and put on the goddamned shoes on, Oikawa!-Suga yelled this time, making Oikawa flinch and take step back. He felt fear in his body, but that didn't stop his anger.

-Why do you only remember you have a boyfriend when you want to fuck him or when you're fucking high, Sugawara?!-Oikawa shouted, being done with Suga being controlling and jealous, making and using Oikawa his puppet these last few weeks.

-Put on your shoes, Oikawa. We're going, you're not staying here.-There was something in Suga's eyes. it was not anger, it was something more, Oikawa couldn't describe it. He let out long sigh and walked out from room to do what Suga told him, not wanting to make him angrier than he already was. He heard Iwaizumi calling him from behind but he didn't turn around. When he was done, he felt Suga grabbing his arm and before he could say anything else, he literally dragged him outside. His place was only five minutes away from Oikawa's and Iwaizumi's but the whole way he didn't say anything and didn't let go of his arm either. When Suga took out the key from his pocket, Oikawa realized they were home alone and felt fear in his stomach. When they went in living room, Suga grabbed Oikawa harshly by his shoulders after slapping him across the face. 

-What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Oikawa?!

-Please, stop screaming...-Oikawa said with weak voice but that didn't stop Suga.-Koushi, please, let go, you're hurting me... 

-Are you even listening to me?!-Suga screamed again and his eyes darkened. Oikawa tried to make him let go of his shoulders but it didn't work. It made Suga angrier. Oikawa whispered again that it hurt and tears dropped from his eyes.-Oh my God, I don't care if it hurts! Answer my question! Have you completely lost your fucking mind, Oikawa?!

-Nothing happened or was happening, I swear! Koushi, please believe me! I love you, I would never do such a thing to you!-Oikawa sobbed out but that didn't help. Suga rolled his eyes and harshly shoved him backwards, Oikawa's legs hitting the couch and falling on it, Suga getting closer and closer to him. 

When Oikawa looked in his eyes, he didn't see that loving gaze he always saw when they were in high school. He didn't have that smile on his face that he always had when they were having practice match against Karasuno. It felt like the boy Oikawa fell in love with the disappeared the day they went to university. And Oikawa didn't know if he would ever come back. He wanted him to come back, and he wanted to stay and remind Suga that this wasn't the boy Oikawa loved or the boy Daichi or Iwaizumi knew, it was completely different person. Cold, harsh and rude person – this was not Suga Oikawa knew. It was not the boy he went on dates with. He was not the boy who was the reason of Oikawa waiting for hours behind Karauno's gym to see him. He was not the person his friends knew. He changed. And Oikawa had no idea what changed him like that. He wanted his Suga back.

-You think I'm going to believe you?! I saw everything with my own eyes, Oikawa.-Suga said with bitter voice and kneeled down in front of Oikawa. Taking his face harshly in his hands, tears not stopping streaming down from Oikawa's eyes.-All you do is whine, the whole fucking day! Even when we're having sex, all you do is whine and get on my nerves, Oikawa. It's such a shame that pretty face like you has such annoying personality.

-Suga... Please stop saying those things...-Oikawa sobbed out and Suga pouted and then laughed sarcastically. Oikawa felt like someone was tearing his heart apart, and he couldn't believe that it was the boy who he was in love with.

-I don't care, Oikawa. You're making me angry again, and I told you earlier, you probably won't like me when I'm angry.-Suga whispered close to his face and reached out to Oikawa's shirt, trying to make him take it off. But Oikawa wasn't going to do that again, he wasn't going to make the mistake he made earlier. He was going to try and get his and Suga's relationship fixed, and not with sex, he was going to do it while talking to Suga.

-No! No, I'm not doing this again!-Oikawa said, slapping Suga's hands away from his shirt but instead taking them in his, bringing him closer and smiled.-I love you, Koushi. I really do, I love you more than anyone, I don't know what has been going on with you these past few weeks, but I want you to tell me so maybe we can figure it out together. I love you, and I don't want this relationship to end, I want us to be together. I know you love me and I know you want this too. I know you want us to be like we were in high school.

He expected everything from Suga. Tears, nodding, screaming, anger, everything. But all Suga did was – he laughed. He laughed like Oikawa told him something very funny. He freed himself from Oikawa's hold and got up, stepping back. 

-God... Oikawa, why are you so goddamned stupid?-Suga asked and chuckled again.

-Wh... what?-Oikawa asked with shaky voice. He wanted to get up but his whole body felt numb, yet he could still hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

-Did you... did you seriously tell me all of that? God damn it, even after everything, the way I treated you... you still couldn't realize I don't give a shit about you, Oikawa? Fuck, you're so freaking naïve.-Suga said and walked backwards till his back his the wall behind him. 

Oikawa felt like someone punched him in the stomach and he felt like someone was wrapping their hand around his throat – not letting him breath. Suga laughed again and slid his hand in his gray hair.

-I don't believe this... I thought you realized today how much I do not care about what you feel, Tooru. I don't, I haven't since the day we started university. Yes, maybe I felt something for you in high school but later I realized it was because no one was actually noticing me, at school, in friend group, at court, no one cared or gave fuck about me. And then you showed up, telling me how much you liked me and I was happy that someone, even if it was greedy person like you, finally wanted to be with me. And, not even going to lie, I did have feelings for you. but when we came here, and I started to meet more and more people, I started losing feelings for you in return. And to be honest I didn't really care that I was losing feelings for you, why would I? There are dozens of other guys, better than you I can tell you that, who are willing to be with me, Terushima for example, and I love that. But the reason why I didn't break up with you, even though I'm meeting someone else if you didn't notice, is because I pity you, Oikawa, I seriously feel bad for you because no one actually likes you. You're pathetic and the only reason why Iwaizumi is still friends with you is because he doesn't want to feel guilty for leaving you all alone in this world. Oh, and did I mention that you're amazing in bed? I can't believe that in the fear of me leaving you, you let me do anything I wanted to do to you earlier today. Now, you know the truth. And I'm going to be more honest with you because no one else will. Any guy, or girl, who says they're interested in you and have feelings for you, beyond just fucking you, they're lying. Because no one would actually want to be with you, Oikawa. No one.

Oikawa couldn't get himself to move, or talk, or to function at this point. He couldn't realize that Suga really told all of these to him, and he meant every word. Oikawa felt like throwing up, he felt used and his heart was aching. He wanted to scream at Suga for using him like this, he wanted to run off without looking back and he just wanted to be alone. But he couldn't move. He couldn't get himself to form any words in his mouth. 

-You... you're lying...-This was what Oikawa finally managed to choke out. He felt dizzy. He felt like he was about to pass out. And all he heard was Suga's laugh from far away.

-Oh, I know you wish I was lying, but I'm not. This is the most honest I've ever been with you, Oikawa. It was fun while it lasted, well, for me at least. And I think you won't want to see me anymore. So, I guess this is the end of whatever was going on between us.-Suga said with smirk on his face and walked towards Oikawa again.-Which I really enjoyed, can't say the same about you, though.

He said with still smirk on his face and lifted Oikawa's chin up with his fingers. Oikawa could barely see him because of tears in his eyes. Suga smiled and leaned down, pressing their lips again for the last time. Oikawa didn't part his lips, but that didn't bother Suga. Few seconds later he stepped back and started walking towards to his room without saying anything.

And Oikawa sat there. Not being able to breath. Not being able to move. Not being able to do anything. He just sat there, still trying to process everything that Suga told him.

He never loved him. He lied about everything. He got angry over the idea of Oikawa cheating on him when he was doing exactly the same to Oikawa. He was just using him. He was just obsessed with idea of Oikawa being with him.

After God knows how long, Oikawa managed to come back to reality. He slowly looked around and saw someone's phone on the dining table – it was probably Daichi's. He got up and dialed number he knew better than his own name. He answered. Like he always did.

-Daichi?

-Hajime... it's me.-Oikawa let out. His throat hurt when he talked.

-Tooru? What happened? Are you okay? Did he do something? Where are you? Tooru!

-Please... Please come and get me... I'm at his place... Hajime, it hurts.-Oikawa sobbed out.

-Calm down, please, I'm going to be there in few seconds.-Iwaizumi said and he hung up after Oikawa felt how he closed the door of their apartment. He slowly put Daichi's phone down, looking over at Suga's room one more time and then walking towards the door. 

When he opened it to walk outside, that was when Iwaizumi raised his hand to knock on the door. Judging from his fast breathing, Oikawa knew he ran here. Oikawa walked out from apartment, closing the door behind him without breaking eye contact with Iwaizumi.

-Tooru...-Iwaizumi said with soft voice and rested his hand softly on Oikawa's cheek, caressing it. Oikawa let out a choked sob and broke down after burying his face in Iwaizumi's neck. He could still hear Suga's voice in his head, it was like an echo that wasn't leaving his mind. His words on repeat over and over and over.-Let's go home. 

The walk back home was quiet. Neither of them said anything, yet Iwaizumi still had his arm wrapped around Oikawa's waist, keeping him close to him. Oikawa wasn't crying anymore. His eyes were dry. Tears weren't forming anymore. He just felt numb.

-Stay here, I'll make you some tea.-Iwaizumi said softly when Oikawa sat down on the couch. He automatically nodded and started staring down to his hands on his lap. Iwaizumi quickly went to kitchen and started making two cups of tea. He had no idea what happened between Oikawa and Suga, but he knew it was nothing good because he had never seen Oikawa this devastated. Iwaizumi was sure he was going to beat Sugawara's ass later but now he needed to take care of Oikawa, who now needed someone by his side the most. After few minutes he went back to living room and saw Oikawa has wrapped himself in blanket in the corner of the couch. Iwaizumi put the cups down and went to sit next to him. Oikawa still wasn't looking at him. Iwaizumi put his hand over Oikawa's softly.

-He told me he doesn't love me. That he never did. He was only using me. He told me that the only reason why he was with me was because he felt sorry for me – because other people wouldn't want to be with me because of my personality. He told me the only reason why you're still my friend is because you don't want to feel guilty with yourself for leaving me alone. He told me there are dozens of guys out there who he can choose over me, and he did. He told me he was seeing someone else this whole time while he was still in relationship with me. And he told me another reason why he didn't break up with me was because I was good in bed. He told me that if anyone ever tells me they want to be with me, they're lying because no one would want to be with me unless it is to fuck me.-Oikawa's voice broke and he let out another sob. Hearing those words was hard, but saying them out loud – the fact that person he loved told him all of this – hurt more than anyone could ever imagine. Iwaizumi was frozen on spot. He didn't know what to say.

How could person be this heartless? How could anyone do this to someone, especially to person like Oikawa. Suga got angry when he thought Oikawa was cheating on him but at the same time he was going around sleeping with other people? 

-Tooru, none of those are true. What he said, none of it!-Iwaizumi managed to let out after few minutes. Oikawa shook his head and looked at Iwaizumi.

-What if they are, Iwaizumi? What if they are? If they weren't, he wouldn't leave me! If I was enough of him, he wouldn't leave me! I don't think I can live without him...-Oikawa sobbed out and Iwaizumi felt like someone stabbed him in the heart. He moved closer to Oikawa, taking his face in his hands softly, making him look Iwaizumi in the eyes and he wiped the tears away from Oikawa's cheeks with his thumb.

-Stop, stop saying that, Tooru! You are enough! And what he told you is not true, none of those words are true! Have you seen how people you meet are listening to you every time you start telling them any story about you? They love listening to you, Tooru. People love becoming friends with you because, and I know all of this because I've known you for my entire life and I know you better than you know yourself, you're amazing person, you're kind, you care about others around you, you put others before you, you love people despite their flaws and mistakes, you're passionate about something you love, you're smart and you have the biggest heart. You're the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life. And screw Sugawara if he didn't see those in you! Screw him for not seeing what kind of person you truly are! Screw him for using you and not seeing how much you love him! And hell, I guess he hasn't met me because there is no way on this Earth that I'm friends with you just because I don't want to feel guilty with myself. I get that you love him, and you're hurting, but you can and will live without him. I won't let you go back to him after everything he told you and did to you. You deserve better than him. I love you, Tooru. And not only as a friend, I love you as a person you truly are. I've spent every day of my life with you, I know when you feel sad and when you're happy, I know when you're in love and when you feel guilty because of something. I've probably seen every movie made about aliens with you and I'll watch even more because I love to see how your face lights up whenever I agree that you can choose movie for the movie night. And I want to see you being that happy for the rest of my life. Because you deserve happiness, Tooru. Even if you don't believe yourself with those words, believe me. Trust me. Because I've never in my life have told a lie to you, and I'm not going to tell you one now.

-Hajime...-Oikawa sobbed out and new tears started making their way down on Oikawa's cheeks, but Iwaizumi wiped them away as well. He moved closer and rested his forehead against Oikawa's.-Thank you... Thank you so much for being by my side my whole life. I want to get over him but it's going to take me a while... I feel like I'll never feel like home ever again. Now that I've lost Suga... I feel lost myself. I feel alone even though I have you.

-Well, you'll never feel like you're alone anymore, because I'll make this feel like home. 

**Author's Note:**

> hehe oopsies. as person who kins suga and her comfort character is also suga writing this was painful asf. but every fic i've read, suga was never the "mean" character so i wanted to create story where he was one. ^_^  
> this whole fanfic was actually inspired by one scene in Euphoria, where Daniel is telling Cassie that any guy who says is interested in her beyond just fucking her is lying :3  
> also, the main reason (other than Iwa figuring out his sexuality) of that scene between Semi / Shirabu / Iwaizumi was so there would be a parallel between what kind of boyfriend was Shirabu, how much he trusted Semi and what kind of was Suga - who didn't even love Oikawa but still didn't like the idea of him being with someone else.  
> anyways, thank you so much if you read this far <33


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